Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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