you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
