nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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