try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
