Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
