You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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