Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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