I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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