very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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