the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
