dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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