He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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