Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im six kinds of drunk right now
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
