my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize