She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
