My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
