check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
