We won't sleep together?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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