hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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