I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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