my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
splinters make it hard to masturbate
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize