Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
