i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Two words: nipple clamps
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