i think my mom watched the whole time
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
