At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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