You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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