I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
