Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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