I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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