I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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