I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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