so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
