dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
