Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
