He is an equal opportunity slut.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
