remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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