So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
