I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
