Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
