Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
