'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
