he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize