have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
