i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
