It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
