I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
