Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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