I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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