i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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