What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
