Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you still have your period?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
