question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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