I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
