I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
4 words: hood of his car
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
