I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
