yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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