If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
