i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
