you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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