New low: just hacked my moms facebook
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
