her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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