He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
