My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
