who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
And then he peed in my hair
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