we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
